Be a Fresh Freshman

It’s that time of year again on campus. The birds are chirping our alma mater, the fraternities are soliciting their souls to anyone they think has what it takes, Starbucks is fueling up their grinders and there are certain people who seem to not know right from left, up from down, The Hub from Turlington Plaza, solo cup from tumblr. You’ve guessed it right, the FRESHMEN ARE HERE! I was in your shoes two years ago, so I know what’s going through your mind.

Do I join a club? How about 7 clubs? Do I get a car? Do I have to accept these loans? If I do accept these loans, when the hell do I have to pay them back? Should I get a fake? Do I have to go to class? Should I study in the library, just to be safe? What the fuck is the potato sculpture? Why is Lakeside so freakin far away? Should I attend dorm functions? Do I have to go to floor meetings? What’s “Midtown?”

The list goes on.. and on.. and on. Have no fear. I’m here to help. Sorta.

The best semester, ask anyone, Summer B, at the University of Florida officially commences tomorrow. Move in day for new, incoming freshmen was last Wednesday and I’ve already met my fair share of fresh meat. From what I can tell so far, there’s an AWESOME pool of freshies to pick from this year, so choose wisely, my upperclassmen mentors.

Daniel Leal – FRESHMAN at UF majoring in Sustainability

To give you some background on why I chose to take on this story…My friend Roger Powell is like the Godfather of a certain frat on campus, Phi Gam, or for short, FIJI. He always attempts to prostitute my girlfriends and I to prove to the pledges that FIJI is the place to be, so we were asked to be solicited (oxymoron, I’m aware) on Saturday for a freshman meet and greet bbq and I met this awesome freshman named Daniel Leal. Great personality, great smile, GREAT fashion sense. I explained to him a little about what we do here at PFF and got this awesome quote from him,

“When I dress good, I feel good. When I feel good, I have a good time.” – Leal

Couldn’t have said it better myself, so inevitably, I was like, bro… since we best friends now… I’m gonna make “you” my next topic.

So, ladies and gents, freshman of the world, I present you with some seriously helpful tips from your lovely upperclassmen on how to be fresh as a freshman.

TIPS:

  1. Girls: Leggings are NOT pants. You’re not Madonna. Put some freakin pants on
  2. Boys: Unless you’re Farmer Ted, get some fitted jeans. Do yourself and every girl you wanna bang a favor. Freshman = Fitted
  3. Say yes to Night Glo. When the time comes, you’ll know what we’re talking about
  4. Invest in appropriate shoes. NO FRESHMAN CHUNKY SNEAKERS can go with your good outfit!
  5. Hollister and Abercrombie do NOT exist in college. Keep that in mind. Just don’t do it
  6. Confidence is sexy, but you’re a freshman, I’m trying to help you, just, again, don’t do it
  7. Broward Beach is not an actual beach, sorry
  8. Estates/Cabana Beach pool parties are a must
  9. Join your “Class of 20-whatever” fb group if you want some free stuff, info on stuff only your class needs to know, and possible subleases!
  10. ALWAYS HAVE A FREAKING UMBRELLA ON HAND
  11. Up to decidee’s discretion: Say no to heels when you’re M.O. is dancing
  12. Join The Dynasty Promotions Group or Uber Promotions Group on Facebook to get all the latest events, drink specials, and sometimes free or reduced cover to the hottest places in the Ville
  13. Just because they fit there doesn’t mean they should be there… don’t wear your lanyard around your neck. It’s the most obvious sign of fresh meat
  14. Say YES to frat parties over Summer B, especially around the fourth of July
  15. If you’re in a dorm, go out with your room/suite/hall mates. They could be lifelong friends. Met my best friend and Co-Owner of PFF, Ashley, as a random roommate match freshman year.
  16. First Year Florida/What’s the Good Life is a joke. Don’t take them
  17. Say YES to Human Sex!
  18. If you don’t want to stick out like the little freshman you are, stop wearing lanyards and learn where your classes are because if I see you walking around with a map I might tell you to go the opposite direction and turn at the brick building. FYI they’re all brick buildings
  19. Don’t let us hear you say the words “Back when I was in high school…” Yesterday wasn’t that long ago
  20. Unless your name is Ron Jeremy, do not, under any circumstances, whip out your goods in public. I know this sounds like a strange tip, but it had to have happened enough times for us to think it deserved a spot, so just… don’t
  21. Mans Food. Look it up. Join it.
  22. Learn to cook freshman year, if you haven’t yet, because UF will drain your bank account with their little “convenience stores..”
  23. Consignment shops are your new best friend. That’s our M.O. here
  24. Attend Gator Nights/Midnight Breakfast at the Reitz at least once, but when you start asking me every Friday night to go… We’ve got a problem
  25. Friday Nights: MIDTOWN; Saturday Nights: DOWNTOWN
  26. Boys: Mandals are a thing of the past. A far and distant past you don’t want to revisit
  27. Be an individual when it comes to your style, but throw some team spirit in the midst
  28. DO NOT TRY AND PARTY IN YOUR DORM ROOM. Underage drinking leads to noise complaints. Noise complaints lead to questioning. Questioning leads to student court. Student court leads to jail. Jail leads to suffrage. Suffrage leads to homelessness. Homelessness leads to no friends. I could go on and on, just don’t do it
  29. Take so much advantage of Drop/Add week
  30. You’re not too cool to visit your advisers. I know you more than likely don’t know your major or specific study yet, but don’t take classes because you think you need them, take them because you want them or you actually DO need them, simple as that
  31. Take advantage of Summer B if you have the opportunity to go. Fall and Spring are a lot different than summer here
  32. GET INVOLVED. Whatever you’re interested in.. literally anything.. is available in some way, shape or form at UF. Visit this site to get involved
  33. Reitz has free movie screenings sometimes. I saw Fast 5 before it even came out my freshman year. Visit the Reitz Union Board!!!!!
  34. You don’t want the freshman 15, right? Southwest Rec and Student Rec Center offer sooo many Group Fitness Classes. Try them out!
  35. I know classes are offered at 8:30 a.m. and comfort is a thing, but do not wear pajamas to class, please
  36. Not every college student in the world drinks, smokes, sleeps around and/or does drugs. You don’t have to, promise
  37. But ^^ if you decide to ^^ please be safe about it. Free condoms and other helpful information about your questionable decisions are provided to each student by Gator Well
  38. Need a new wardrobe? Visit Housing Fairs
  39. If you live off campus and have a car, the only places you can park on campus with a decal are the PNR lots without getting a ticket, which are right across from Southwest on the outskirts of campus. Buy a scooter, take the bus. I wish I would’ve known this little tip freshman year.
  40. But, if ^^ you are the unlucky one who receives that parking ticket ^^ UF police is a joke, so appeal each and every one of those things HERE
  41. If you encounter an issue with your roommate, (happened to me too many times..) be smart about it. If it’s doable, handle it. Keep it amongst yourselves. If it’s not cordial, bring someone else like your RA into the mix. You’re too young to have someone in your life that makes it diffcult
  42. This isn’t Boy Meets World. There is no Cory and Topanga love. Let’s be real.
  43. Take advantage of the cool free shit on campus. At the beginning of EVERY semester, there is a little fair of frats, sororities, classes, and organizations at Turlington Plaza that give you cool stuff. There is free printing (up to 250 pages) at the Reitz Computer Lab. Math and Writing tutoring are offered at specific dorms. Silent study rooms in every library. The Career Resource Center at the Reitz
  44. Gainesville is an interesting little historic/natureish town. If you’re into that kind of stuff, there are plenty of Nature Parks and Watery Adventures like Ginnie Springs
  45. Attend athletic events. Football tickets for students are only $15 and every single other sport is free attendance for students
  46. FIND CHEAP TEXTBOOKS. If you buy them from Reitz, they’re top dollar (and it’s a hell fest trying to return them at the end of the semester). Go to The Florida Book Store instead, or visit sites like Chegg Textbooks and Amazon
  47. If you are unhappy with your grades or the outcome of a class, your professors are here for you. For being such a large school with tens of thousands of students, UF does a really good job at caring for each and every one of us, so take advantage of the time given to you and ask for more one on one time with your prof or TA if you need to. Office Hours saved my ass freshman year
  48. If you’re not very good at motivating yourself or keeping up with deadlines and organization, do NOT take an online class unless you have to
  49. If you’re in class and it’s the end, one hour and fifteen minutes have passed, the teacher asks if you have any questions, even if you do… YOU DON’T. Trust me, you will be the most hated person in that class. Just ask afterwards or during office hours
  50. You can withdraw from two classes per 60 credit hours of college. Take advantage of that, but be aware of the payment plan that comes afterwards

Hope this was helpful. I wish someone would’ve done this for me years ago. Follow these tips and you’ll be set. Welcome, class of 2017. These are gonna be 4 (or 8) amazing years, don’t waste them.

❤ Your PFF

Quotes/Tips in this article are attributed to these awesome people:

Crystal White – UF majoring in Civil Engineering
Valerie Snow – Senior at UF majoring in Psychology Pre-Law Track
Edward Kingston – Junior at UF majoring in Accounting
Cohen Harris – Junior at UF majoring in Aerospace Engineering
Victoria Murphy – Junior at UF majoring in Sociology
Ashley Mondesir – Junior at UF majoring in Telecommunications
Kayvious Campbell – Junior at UF majoring in Psychology
Noah Hackney – Junior at UF majoring in Microbiology
Patty Alvarenga – Junior at UF majoring in Marketing
Lynn Harris – Grad Student at UF majoring in Urban/Regional Planning
Natalie Spencer – North Greenville Univ majoring in English
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