4th of July Attire

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Happy birthday ‘Murica!

It’s 4th of July, very exciting! Most of you are probably out picnicking, BBQing, and getting your last minute fireworks together. If you need a minute away from all that fun to get in a laugh or two, than you have come to the right place. Today I am going to be talking about horrible but hilarious fashion choices that some people make on the 4th.

Now I know that on most holidays, people like to get a little creative and show their spirit by really really embracing the occasion via crazy shirts, glasses, costumes or even body paint. Therefore, since it is seen as super duper unpatriotic to not love America, once the 4th of July comes around everyone goes bezerk and makes it their mission to be as red, white and blue as they can.

Katy Perry has no right to even think about dressing up as the American flag on the 4th of July! Being freakishly faithful to the US on the 4th is supposed to mean that you are really really proud of being American but as I recall, pretty much the second she got together with Russell Brand, she went off and got her second citizenship in England. Not only is your flag dress ugly…BUT IT IS A FLAG OF LIES, KATY!

I guess that there is not many things that are more patriotic than being a strong, independent America-loving farmer, but please…leave the overalls at home. Better yet, if you have any of these horrid things in your possession, just burn them. Or even better than that, tie them to your fireworks, light them up and watching those suckers explode up in the sky! Now that is really doing justice for your country!

This dress would be a dream…for a sad, aging go-go dancer. So, if you are not a disco queen lost in time… you should not wearing this.

I mean this is not so bad… if you are a ballerina doing an expressive dance on the birth of a nation… or if maybe you wanted your ass to look like a cloud of American justice or something.

I am all for showing support, I just like it when it is simple, subtle and classy. I want to be able to look back at pictures of me and not be totally embarrassed because I decided it would be a good idea to put on American flag contacts, dye my hair red and blue and paint white stars all over my body. But hey, to each his own.

ooxx Ashley

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