College Party Etiquette
Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, we are gathered here today to bear witness to a sacred union that every college individual must take into account: What to do and what not to do on your night’s out. For the women, you all want to be classy, right? For the men, you all want dat swag doe? I’m here to help. No more wondering if something is “appropriate or not,” no more hoping the guy looking at you from the bar wants you for your mind, no more looking around an unfamiliar room the morning after and walking out heels in hand. I’ve come to help you. Here are some tips from real college students and what they believe is necessary knowledge when it comes to your social life. Enjoy. Learn. Apply.
- Girls: Keep a steady watch on your drinks. Know your limit and never set it down somewhere with the intention of coming back to it. GHB is not your friend.
- Boys: Bring as many girls as you can in your group. Your experience will be inevitably more fun and you’ll be able to get in to 10x the places you would have if it was solely a guys night. Even if you have to pretend, get you and your two guy friends interconnected somehow with that giant ass group of girls in front of you. You’ll be thankful you did, as will your wallet.
- Girls: Wednesday night is Ladies Night. Enough said.
- Boys & Girls: Get to know your promoters! Whatever the promotion company is within your town, look them up and give them your number. You’ll get free or reduced cover into venues, drink specials and invites to the hottest parties.
- Boys: Not like I’m encouraging/discouraging the act, but if you do happen to engage in coitus (if you don’t know what that word is, you shouldn’t be having sex in the first place), please be safe about it. Wrap it up. Alachua County is the 4th highest county in STD’s in the state of Florida . Go Gators.
- Girls: If you’re invited into VIP, don’t question it, just go. Trust us, it’ll be the time of your life.
- Boys & Girls: Hangovers are no one’s friend, drink water, eat a slice of bread and take some aspirin before you hit the hay. It’ll be worth it the next morning.
- Girls: Accept that the walk of shame will happen to you at least once these 4 (or 8, I don’t judge) years and keep your head held high you beautiful skank you. 😉
- Boys: Wear V-necks, Button-downs, Henley’s, dark-washed jeans, high-tops, etc
- Girls: Do everything in your power to get in free. I don’t mean go full slut on the bouncer, but, seriously, work it girl. In my two years of being in college, I know I’ve probably only paid $100 tops. You can do it.
- Girls: Don’t take your shoes off. No matter what the circumstance. Coming from personal experience, it’s not worth getting glass lodged in your big toe and not realizing it until the next morning while still in a haze. Plus, if you’re plastered, you’re going to lose them and the new pair of shoes you bought to impress that stupid boy will be stupidly misplaced, never to be found again.
- Boys: Just because she says “yes,” doesn’t actually mean she wants to do what you’re asking. Getting deep here, I know, but when a girl is under the influence of whatever her drug of choice, she’s not in the right state of mind to be making life altering decisions. You should respect that and not make them for her.
- Girls: If you don’t know how to dance, don’t get on the bar. Please.
- Boys: DO NOT, I repeat DO FREAKIN NOT go out in basketball shorts, tee-shirts, running shoes, etc. You will automatically get knocked down on my list because there was no effort put in there at all. You’ll look like an idiot and you probably will have a lesser chance of getting in wherever you’re trying to go.
- Girls: Unless you plan on being DD, don’t wear your prized outfit when you know shit’s gon get real. Definitely dress appropriately, but don’t kill the crazy drunk guy at the bar that spills Corona on your white jeans.
- Boys: Don’t wear fedoras to the club. Unless you’re Ryan Lochte or Neyo, it’s not a good look for you.
- Boys & Girls: Don’t be that girl/guy that leaves their ID at home. You’ve been pregaming for about an hour now, feelin nice and toasty. You pull up to the club with all your friends ready to go hard in the paint. You get to the door, no ID. You have the face of a 12 year old. There’s no way your getting in, buddy.
- Boys & Girls: If you’re gonna hook up with somebody at a club, take it to a dark corner. No one wants to see that on the dance floor.
- Girls: Even though I can’t control my own self sometimes, watch what you eat when you’re drunk/high/tired/whatever. You’ll pay for it the following morning.
- Boys: Don’t feel pressured to make the girl of the night breakfast, but don’t be that guy from Bridesmaids who basically begs her to leave. Nobody likes a real life Barney Stinson.
Hope this was insightful dears.
❤ Your PFF