ESPY’S Worst Dressed

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Babes,

I don’t know about sports, I can’t tell you any rules or regulations, I can’t name you majors players, and I don’t know the different between MLB or NHL…but I do know ugly. This post will be about the worst dressed attendees of this year’s gathering of athletically inclined celebs.

WORST: Katherine Webb's blue checkered dress was just too much

Katherine Webb

This…dress…by George Chakra makes her look like a go-go dancer who bred with a mermaid. There are not many positive things that I can say about this dress… I mean…the shades of blue are nice…and it is fitted to her body perfectly….but besides that I would really really be digging.

Colin Kaepernick

This guy over here won the best breakout athlete of the year and that is all fine and dandy, but he lost big time in the don’t dress like an idiot category. All I see here is a Jersey Shore/Rico Suave wannabe and not some guy who evidently is the best athlete around.

Johnny Manziel

I can’t even…there is just so much wrong with this whole outfit. A grey pin-striped suit, with a blue and white checkered shirt, and a pink tie with brown shoes. Really, who in the name of God put this together? How does he not feel bad wearing this? I am not even wearing this atrocious outfit and I feel embarrassed by it.

Brandon Marshall

Mr. Marshall may be a football player, but I think that his real desire is to be a rug or carpet or something because this suit of his is velvet. Or maybe he felt so in-tune with the whole event that he felt he was the red carpet and must dress as such. Maybe the more he felt in touch with the all of the scenery, the more he felt he would win an award. It all really is just a big mystery to me.

Nick Young

Oh, I am going to an award ceremony to possibly commend my hard work in basketball. The whole event will be aired on nation television for millions of people to see? I know exactly what to wear…a zebra looking shirt, a (bad) thrift shop jacket that even my grandpa would not want to wear, high school kid-skater boy shorts and…best of all… studded vans. That will deeeef get me an award.

Hope Solo

When you are going to a big Hollywood event, an award ceremony in particular, I would imagine that the appropriate attire would be a gown or a really nice dress. But Hope Solo over here decided that she would rather just wear a club dress that she found on the sales rock on from Body Central. The dress has a damn zipper doing down the front for Pete’s sake! It would totally work if she was in college going to some club downtown, but please…not to the ESPY’s.

Desean Jackson

I want my shirt to be cloth…no, leather…no, cloth…no, leather…no, cloth…wait….both.

Syd Wilder

I don’t know this girl…so I can’t speak on her sexual behavior, but in the words of Dave Chappelle…” You may not be a whore, but you are wearing a whore’s uniform.” That slit all the way up to her hoo-haa, her boobs basically 100% exposed. She might as well have shown up naked.

Calyann Barnett

She is a stylist so you would assume that she has taste and knows how to dress, however, it seems that that is not the case here. To me, that pink looks like the outline of some kind of organ and the fit of that dress is not flattering in the slightest bit. This stylist…needs a stylist…howeve,r make sure it not the person who dressed any of the people above. Or…maybe she is the one who dressed them all! Which would make a lot of sense…

ooxx Ashley

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