Break or Break Up?


“I love my girlfriend, but Spring Break is in like two weeks. Is it wrong to ask for a break?”


Yesterday, a friend of mine said every strong relationship flourishes because both partners get at least one hall pass a year. I don’t know if I agree with this theory, though, because, if you’re supposedly in love with your girlfriend, I doubt you’d even think about touching another girl. If you think you’d really be into it, though, know that you’re not going to be the only one getting a hall pass, sweetie. She’s probably wanted to hop on some other dick that isn’t as boring as yours for months now, but wasn’t going to be the asshole that brought it up. He, whoever “he” is, is going to be everything you’re not. He’s going to be tall, chiseled, charming and have a huge you know what. He won’t fart during her favorite television show. He won’t “accidentally forget” to go downtown on the one night a week you actually fuck her. He won’t drink milk straight from the carton. He’ll be everything she’s ever wanted and he’ll be INSIDE OF HER. Think about it. Still sound appealing?


Leslie Cole